


You wanna be who you'd be if you're coming with me

by lalejandra



Category: lotrips
Genre: BDSM, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-10-06
Updated: 2004-10-06
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:59:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21809242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalejandra/pseuds/lalejandra
Summary: most of the time we ourselves desire just that which society expects of us. (peter berger)
Relationships: Dominic Monaghan/Elijah Wood, Dominic Monaghan/Viggo Mortensen
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	You wanna be who you'd be if you're coming with me

  


Dom hates everything and everyone and his whole life. L.A. is some kind of sucking void. Dom always thought sunlight cheered him up when he was feeling like a sad bastard, but the sun never seems to go away in L.A. Dom longs for the even grey of Manchester, even the rain -- especially the rain. Something to indicate that time is passing.

He doesn't bother with a calculator -- he has Lij. When the bruises fade, a week has passed and it's time for another night out, time to get sloshed, absolutely maddened with drink, and then pretend the day after that it never happened. Yes, never say what it is, just say _it_. It's all ridiculous. Every time, Dom ups it, does something new and different that Lij isn't expecting.

Like it's a joke, yeah? Except it's _not_. Dom doesn't know what it is. He's not trying to pretend he's in control of his life by controling Lij, and he's not trying to spend on his dosh on someone else's liquor, and he's not in love with Lij. That's the stupidest idea of all, because Dom's in love with _Billy_ , a stupid bastard far far away who's drinking tea and shoving his cakehole full of scotch and family and bangers and probably whatever else he can get his hands on except for sour cream crisps, which he doesn't like, and Dom, which he doesn't have.

Dom wouldn't mind being shoved face -- or something else -- first into Billy's mouth, but he doesn't have that so instead he shoves into Lij's mouth until he gags and chokes, and still he doesn't stop, he just keeps shoving until Lij is crying, fingers scratching against Dom's thighs.

Next time, Dom ties Lij's hands back with a piece of rope that he's been carrying around all week. He's been tying knots in it, just for fun, just to keep his hands busy, so that he doesn't filch one of Lij's smelly fags or pinch Kelly's bum. He wasn't planning anything. He never plans anything. That's part of his problem, right? He just goes along with everyone else and then suddenly he's surprised when he's in California and Billy's not, but Lij is.

Maybe Billy thinks he planned it this way and maybe that's why Billy never calls.

Dom thinks anyone would have to be bloody fucking insane to plan something like this.

Next time, when Dom and Lij stumble into Dom's tiny little flat, which is really a giant house right behind Lij's mom's house, Dom ties Lij face down on the bed and fucks him, which they've never done before, but obviously Lij's done it with someone else, since Dom's cock slides right in once it's greased up.

He knows he's too rough with Lij, but it's because he's asking, begging -- and Lij never figures it out. That's because Lij is totally thick and has no idea what people do or why they do it. He's been acting too long, and if it's not a stage direction, he just can't figure it out. Dom figures it out real easy, quickly, thinks it's right there, out for anyone to see. But maybe that's just because it's his head and his own thoughts and he knows why he does things.

He wants to be held down and he wants to be made to do what's good for him, but Lij never pushed hard enough into his mouth and never would say what he wanted and never was the one to go to for a good shag -- just the sort of mate who'd suck you off if you were having a dry spot.

Orli was the same way, and that feels like a lifetime ago. But Lij also likes to just lay there. Dom lets out all his frustration and anger and everything that's shite onto Lij, stripes Lij's back with a riding crop nicked from Hannah, and stripes Lij's arse with his own stiff leather belt, and Lij just takes it, takes it all, and doesn't -- and -- and just _takes it_.

Sometimes Dom wants to go live with Viggo on the beach with the horses and forget the world exists. Of course, those are the times when he knows he's going absolutely fucking mad.

He wants to push against something, and Lij is here to be pushed against, except Lij doesn't stand still or flop over -- Dom just goes right through him. He never says "no" or "stop" or "wait" or even "just a tick, all right?" He groans and moans and pants and lets Dom do whatever Dom wants, even if it means Lij is on the floor and tied to the table leg with one of those fancy knots that Bills taught them in Mexico, and Dom's fingers are wriggling inside him, covered in olive oil. Does he like it? Does he even notice? They drank and drank and drank all day and all night and Dom thinks maybe they should have passed out by now, but Dom is wide awake and Lij must be too because he's moaning and Dom's fist is inside him.

Maybe Lij knows what Dom has planned but Dom doesn't think so because Dom doesn't know what Dom has planned, so it's a surprise for both of them when Lij opens the fridge and pulls out a bottle of Coke Light and greases it up. Dom's always liked Pepsi a bit more than Coke, if he had to choose a bubbly beverage, and the stuff in the States is crap, but Coke Light's not bad, and this is a German bottle Lij's mum had imported when Dom said as much three weeks ago at supper.

Debbie's absolutely cracking, although Dom thinks maybe she'd not be quite so sweet to him if she could see him carefully pushing the slim bottle into her son's arse.

And Lij, for his part, is moaning and writhing and generally acting like he's enjoying having the chilly bottle shoved into his hole, which Dom is really suspicious of, since it doesn't seem like the sort of thing that would be at all fun. He looks round for something else of similar shape to test his theory that when put into a position, Lij will do what he thinks he's supposed to do, and the first thing he sees is the block of knives.

Could be interesting.

This is not who he is, this bloke shoving a knife hilt first into his mate's arse, slapping his cock when it dribbles, and then adding another knife, and then one more. This can't feel good, and the knives are sharp and cutting into Lij's pale skin; his blood is shocking against the white.

Dom feels sick, but Lij is still writhing like he likes it, and maybe he does, and either way, Dom's not -- this isn't -- why can't Lij just turn around and say, "Quit it, you sad bastard!" and storm off?

Well, because he's tied in three places to fairly immovable objects and also there are knives in his bum.

Dom takes them out and throws them in the sink and can't resist slapping Lij's cock once more for good measure, and Lij goes off all over the floor, and Dom feels a bit like he has to see this through to the end, and maybe make Lij lick it up off the floor or something, but he doesn't -- he just unties Lij from the table and chair and fridge handle and then he goes away, into his room, to curl up on his bed and not think about what he's doing.

He doesn't remember falling asleep, but he remembers waking up and stumbling into the kitchen to wash the knives and throw away the bottle of Coke Light; he doesn't want it anymore.

When he goes back to sleep, he doesn't think about Lij, but about Billy, and he falls asleep with his hand down his pants, remembering things that never happened.

Lij doesn't want to think about it either; Dom knows this because when he wakes up the next morning, Viggo is at his kitchen table eating cereal and reading _AP_ and tells him, very matter-of-factly, that Lij decided to get an apartment in New York City and be by himself for a while. But he was leaving Viggo for Dom to play with, and when Viggo related that conversation, he looked hungry and jokey and exactly like Viggo except not like Viggo at all, and he blinked his eyes in a dodgy sort of way that had Dom's hand going right to his wrist to grasp it, because he could almost feel the handcuffs rubbing his skin raw already.

  



End file.
